Nico Oficially Hates China
by XxWarriorsrockxX
Summary: When Hades wants a burger, what does he do? He gets Nico to shadow travel him to LA to his favorite burger place. Yeah, Hades' favorite burger place went out of business about 70 years ago. And then Nico and Hades end up in China. Set at any time you want it to be at.


**Hey guys! So, I'm back! No, I'm not dead. Yay. **

**So, uh, I wrote this story for a series of other one-shots I've been working on, and this one is one of my favorites. I have 3 other favorites, but, ya know. This isn't the actual story I wrote, but I think it was improved. **

**So, yeah. I have a bunch of random ideas for one-shots inspired by my math teacher's posters and the weirdness of my classmates. I mean, somebody draws a stick person on the board, and the first thing one of my classmates says is "He's cross eyed!" I really don't know why, but I found that funny. **

**A few other ideas include:**

**Have you used your brain today? and angry raccoons. **

**sidenote who else thinks that a horde of angry raccoons would be one of the cutest yet most terrifying things ever?**

**Anyways, enough with my stupidly long author's note and onto the story!**

**Enjoy!**

**Nico Officially Hates China**

Nico was quite possibly having the worst day ever. First of all, his dad, Hades, Lord of the dead, was pouting because of the lack of good hamburgers in the Underworld. Second of all, when Lord Hades is upset from a hamburger shortage, things tend to go bad for nearby people. Unfortunately, Nico, Persephone and Demeter had been the only nearby people at the time. Hades had decided to take his anger out on his son, with a very odd favor.

"NICO! I need a burger!" Nico remembered him saying.

"What do you expect me to do about it?" Nico yelled back.

"We're practicing your shadow traveling and we're gonna get burgers! So, take me to LA!" Hades seemed happy. Too happy. That usually meant Hades had just sentenced several innocent souls to eternal torture.

"Why LA?"

"Because they have the world's best burgers there, and the last time I had one of Benny's Burgers, it was 1935."

"…no comment," Nico responded.

So, reluctantly, Nico had shadow traveled with his dad to LA. To a very old Burger place. That didn't exist anymore.

"Benny's Burger's isn't here! WHERE ARE BENNY'S DANG BURGERS?" Hades had yelled.

Yeah, needless to say, several surrounding building had been sucked into the ground. Presumably, they were heading straight to Tartarous. On the bright side, they would most likely keep Kronos busy for a bit.

Hades, the all powerful Lord of the Dead, Ruler of the Underworld, Savior of his brothers' stupid butts, had been forced to eat disgusting burgers at McDonald's. McDonald's.

Strangely, there had been a lack of employees later that day. The missing employees were indeed missing, and never found.

Hades added to his 'eternal damnation underwear'. Weird, right?

-SQUIRREL-

"China. You took me to China," Hades asked, disbelieving.

"Uhhh… I wanted Chinese food?" Nico said it like a question.

"Nico, listen very carefully when I tell you this: YOU. DON'T. HAVE. TO. GO. TO. CHINA. FOR. CHINESE. FOOD," Hades told Nico this as if Nico was a very slow toddler.

"Well, I didn't want American Chinese food, I wanted Chinese Chinese food," Nico said matter-of-factly.

"THERE'S NO DIFFERNCE BETWEEN AMERICAN CHINESE FOOD AND CHINESE CHINESE FOOD. GOOD BYE," and with that, Hades had melted into the shadows, leaving Nico stranded, alone, in China.

Great.

-SQUIRREL-

For the past three days, Nico had spent his time buying food from nearby stores and then returning to his alley. Nico still did not have enough energy to shadow travel, so he was stuck.

"Hey, kid!" a voice sounded from the street.

"What?" Nico yelled irritably.

"You still living in that dumpster?" it was the trash guy. Again. Nico started wondering if that guy's sole purpose in life was to annoy Nico, because it very well could be.

"Yes! Now, get out of my alley!"

-SQUIRREL-

Nico was now so incredibly bored that he had started to decipher the words on the side of the dumpster. It had taken Nico nearly an hour wen he finally figured out what it said.

Chinatown garbage service.

Wait a second.

Chinatown.

ChinaTOWN.

Nico had never even been in China. He had been in Chinatown, a neighborhood in New York City.

_Oh, you've got to be kidding._

-SQUIRREL-

Hades rushed, out of breath into his father's palace. Hades smirked at his son.

"Have a nice stay in Chinatown?" Hades asked sarcastically.

"Why didn't you just tell me we were in Chinatown?" Nico glared at his father.

"Because, then I wouldn't have had any entertainment. And, besides, Persephone said that if I got rid of you, she would get rid of Demeter," Hades said.

Nico glared.

"How would you feel if your mother-in-law who is also your sister was staying at your house for sooooooo long?" Hades whined.

"AND THAT MAKES IT OKAY?" Nico yelled.

"Well, yes."

"Gahhhhhhh!"

Nico stormed out of the room.

-SQUIRREL-

Later that night, Hades and Persephone sat in their thrones. Nico entered the room to get to his designated 'room'. It was really just a broom closet under the stairs. Apparently, Nico's godly parents were convinced that he was Harry Potter.

"Nico! What do you think of a family vacation to China?" Persephone asked.

"I think that you should find a different family," Nico muttered, then left the room.

"How about we just leave him at home?" Persephone turned her attention to Hades.

"Do they have good burgers in China?" Hades asked boredly. His arm was propped up on the armrest of his throne, and Hades was holding his head up with said hand.

"No! It's China!" Persephone sighed.

"So? Just because it's China doesn't mean they can't serve good burgers." Hades argued.

"You're impossible!" Persephone retaliated.

"You're impossible-er-er!" Hades said stupidly.

"That's not a word!"

"It is now!"

"No!"

"I'm the Lord of the dead! I can do whatever I want!"

"Whatever. I'm going to bed," and with that, Persephone was out of the room.

"I want a burger," Hades decided.

**Sooo yeah. This is what happens when I'm bored at school. **

** I like to think that Hades enjoys burgers. Or, as Leo would say:**

"**Whoa, dude, you been eating red meat?"**

** It would explain Hades' awful personality. **

** So, yeah. Tell me what you guys think in the reviews, and also what you think of the other ideas I listed in the 'before' author's note. **

** Yup.**

** XxWarriorsrockxX**


End file.
